Lesson 103: Honoring Your Goals

"If you're going to reach for the stars, reach for the lowest one!" - Jerri Blank, Strangers With Candy

How often do our goals change? I think just today alone, mine changed at least five times. The range is anything from smiling more at people to starting my own business. Lately, I'm very into all things food. Part of the reason it has taken me so long to write again is because I was giving into the temptations such as perfecting batches of cold brewed iced coffee with simple syrup, which I happily sip while watching Ina Garten make perfect roast chicken and seasonal fruit tarts. She always has one of her many silver-foxy gay male friends over to arrange tablescapes, which I admire & mentally note, but never attempt. Okay....I was procrastinating. I guess my realistic goals fall somewhere between doing something with food and the photo industry (again).

I had an interview at a photo agency earlier today, and was asked, "So, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I raised an eyebrow, laughed, and immediately shot back, "I don't want to grow up." They liked that answer. I said I'd have to think about it. I asked them if they were happy, as they didn't look like they were. Eyes darted around, they both paused, and then non-enthusiastically shrugged and said they guessed so. I was not convinced. I think sometimes we all need to check in with our childhood selves when thinking about what makes us happy, because that's us at our simplest and most honest.

For example, my family has told me I was a strange kid. When I was six, I started playing with Lincoln Logs...a lot. I wouldn't build cabins though. I arranged the pieces into floor plans across my bedroom floor that my mother would have to tip-toe through as if it were a booby trap. I didn't know what an architect was yet, but I did go on to work in architecture for a few years after college. I loved it, but just not enough to become one once I found out the hard facts about how unglamorous and monotonous it really is. I would even convince my mom to take me to open houses on Saturdays, just so I could snoop around different types of houses to get ideas. When I was ten, I obsessively watched The Weather Channel, and thought I wanted to be a meteorologist. I watched it so much that my parents noticed, but had no idea what to say. It actually wasn't that I was so into weather as much as all of the different maps they'd show. I got to know where places were, and imagined life in other cities. The Weather Channel actually became my gateway into wanting to travel, and fantasizing about living anywhere but New Jersey. International weather updates were my favorite, and I had them timed so I knew when they'd come on each hour. Well, flash forward 20 years and I still love traveling and architecture.

I guess I want to be lots of things when I "grow up". Mostly, I just want to be happy, healthy, and a good person. If that means I make less money in order to be able to lead a balanced life, then I'm willing to do that. So, what do you want to be when you grow up?